How to be Five Minutes Late for Church (in 20 steps)

>> Sunday, March 14, 2010

1. Spring Forward (oh daylight savings how I despise you!)
2. Have children wake up at 6:30 which USED to be 5:30.
3. Have husband leave at 6:50am for a 7am church meeting.
4. Refuse to get up and deal with your children. Allow mayhem and nonsense to ensue.
5. Have a 2 year old strip down to nothing but a Superman cape and throw a tantrum when you suggest different duds for a church-going morning.
6. Have NOT showered since Thursday.
7. Have a baby poop 2x in 15 minutes.
8. Be unable to find your patterned tights.
9. Consider wearing fishnets.
10. Decide against the fishnets.
11. Have your four-year-old decide to be neurotic about socks.
12. Threaten him with death as he cries about being forced to wear socks.
13. Have to find different clothes for self to wear because you still can't find your tights, short-ish skirts are not good when you've got hairy-ish legs.
14. Forget to feed your children breakfast.
15. Don't put on any makeup
16. Have your 11-month old toddle behind you, screaming and crying because he's been awake for three hours.
17. Go to church only to realize it is so windy outside it knocks your 2 year old down.
18. Cry when you see the only seats left are two rows from the front.
19. Scurry in during the opening hymn, out of breath, hungry, in wrinkly clothes with no makeup.
20. Wish today was NOT Spring Forward Day.

If you implement this list next week, let me know how it goes!


The Drama Mama March 14, 2010 at 8:38 PM  

I think you actually did pretty well to be only 5 minutes late. We didn't make it to church at all this morning because well, I *forgot* to change the clocks, and my 7:30 wake up was actually at 8:30, church starts at 9:30, so 45 minutes to get both kids ready and myself was a task to big for me. I rolled over, hit snooze and went back to sleep.

Angie March 15, 2010 at 8:22 AM  

eh, you should have gone with the fishnets--that way any protruding hairs could seem part of the overall hosiery pattern. Some mornings should just be do-overs.

For the first time in my life, we changed all the clocks in the house at 7pm the night before and acted accordingly. And I woke up with the worst migraine of my life (still going strong, but someone has to take care of the kids). There is no winning in motherhood!

Sometimes five minutes late is a sparkling win. Congratulations.

Morgan -Ing March 15, 2010 at 9:40 AM  

Haha, thanks Angie! I hope your head gets better fast!

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