Goals for the New School Year

From August 2011

So, the new school year is coming upon many of us. 

A fresh start. 

A blank slate. 

A new spiral bound notebook of possibilities.

Okay, enough of that. 

I am a bit obsessed with goal-setting. New Year's Resolutions? Don't mind if I do! Birthday? Goals galore? New school year? Yes please!

So, I've got a whole slew of goals to accomplish this year. Personal, for the kids and for our family. 

Do you? 

I mean, it can be as simple as, "Andrea will learn to tie her shoes this year!" And then you work with her on it. Even if she isn't quite there by summer 2012, at least you worked toward it! Good for you!

It could be also, "Read a book a month as a family." See how very school-related that is?

Set three goals for the school year! 

1. Personal

2. Kids

3. Family

ANNNNDDD GO! 

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How to Enjoy the Autumn

From October 2009

I lurve the word "autumn." I much prefer it over "fall."

And random tidbit, did you know, we do NOT capitalize the seasons? We do it all the time, but it's not proper. Weird, eh? I learned that in 2nd grade and never forgot it.

Okay, so anyway, the weather has beautifully, blessedly cooled off, and I am praying it's for keeps.

Do you have any idea how much I LOVE autumn? Not just the word, but the actual season? SO SO SO much.

And here are my tops ways to enjoy the autumn:
1. Hot Chocolate, in the mornings, first thing. I don't do coffee, but if I did, I swear unto you, I would replace it with Hot Chocolate as soon as the weather turns crisp.
2. Long sleeves and layers. I adore sweaters and the "layered" look. I do not care for the summer attire of "being as naked as is allowed by law and common decency."
3. Decor. Oh the leaves, and browns and the yellows and the oranges. LOVE LOVE LOVE!
4. Baking. I ceased all baking for the good of survival in the summer. Bring on the baking!
5. Walks and hikes. Walking in the woods, with the color dripping from the trees, and the cool air... mmmm.
6. Halloween. I don't do the the "scary and gross" stuff. Just cutesy witches and Charlie Brown's great pumpkin. Kids in costumes, MY FAVORITE.
7. Pumpkins. All orange and round and delightful. Roast some seeds. DELICIOUS. Cookies? Yes please!
8. Hats! I love hats and when the weather turns brisk, I plop them atop my kiddos' heads with reckless abandon.
9. Wind. I swear, autumn is windy windy and well. The sound and feel of wind is magic.
10. Leaves. Jumping in them, collecting them, raking them, whatever. I think they are so fun!

Okay, so, all you autumn-haters, who only despise it because it means winter is around the corner, don't be haters, just make a list of all the GOOD things. If you can't think of any, give some of mine a whirl. Autumn is magic. MAGIC I say.

From October 2009

From October 2009

*pictures are from last October... a walk in the woods. DELIGHT!*

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How to Visit the Library with Kids

Mmkay, so when Henry was like 20 months old, I had Spencer, and then for some reason decided that Story Time at the Library was totally where I needed to be, once a week. It was a DISASTER. He was not ready, he was too little, he preferred to play in the curtains, rather than pay attention to the book.

So, we quit the library.

But not forever. We moved, Henry grew a year, and we decided to try again. And ever since, the library has been a staple in our lives. It is a WONDERFUL resource for entertainment, enlightenment and education for everyone of all ages. But of course you knew that.

However, going to the library with shortlings can be prove to be harried and un-fun. If you're just going for an activity such as Story Time or a puppet show it's easier, because the fun is being provided for you.

But if you're just going for books/movies, then you've got to be prepared, when your kids are small.

Here are some tried and true methods of successful library-ing-a-go-go. At least for us:


1. Go during non-peak times. 
The later in the day it gets, the busier it gets, until early evening when the population usually peters off.  If your kids are school-aged, a trip after dinner is a nice, quiet evening activity. Don't go to the library during some kind of special activity unless you are planning to ATTEND the special activity. (I have made this mistake more than once.)
2. Get a calendar of events from the Information Desk. Then you can pick and choose activities you do want to attend. And you can decide when a safe time to just check out materials is as well.
3. Get anyone who can write their name their own card. Just like when you were a kid. We still have all our kids on our cards because no one can write. But as soon as Henry can legibly write his name, he is going to learn the art of library-card-possession.
4. Bring the Stroller and a cloth bag.
  It's a great place to strap in toddlers with a board book, a great place to stack books, and to make kids HOLD ON TO when you're moving about. Most libraries have kids' sections but sometimes navigating the realms of shelves to GET there is a challenge. Using the stroller as a home base can be a life-saver, and keeps your kids near you. The bag is obvious, right? For your stash?
5. Let the kids help with returning books and check-out. This is especially fun if your library has a self-check. It teaches them about the whole of idea of "borrowing" and it keeps them occupied while you're trying to finish up, instead of running around and knocking things over (not that I know from experience or anything...) My kids like to each take a turn scanning the books, and sliding the card. It's fun for all!
6. If you're in need of materials of your own, get the kids squared away FIRST! 
Then you can plant them in the stroller or if they are old enough, in a chair nearby, and let them look at their new stuff, while you dig for what you need.
7.  Don't censor what your kids check out.
OKAY! Now this does not come without stipulations. My kids tend to be pretty willy-nilly about the whole thing. They grab and go. I rarely put books back. If they want to try it out, then great! HOWEVER, they are small, and we are talking picture books. If your kids are school-aged, tweens or older, some censorship might be necessary. Only you can know what you want YOUR kids reading. But, unless it's dirty, or totally against your values, letting kids explore the written word freely is kind of awesome. Some weeks we have a great collection and other weeks, it's mostly stinkers. But my goodness we are having FUN! I do limit the number of materials we take home to 2 DVDs and no more than 7 books because I can't keep track of anymore than that.

So there ya go. If you've never really been a library-goer, it's not too late to start! I swear, even high schoolers can learn to love the written word, in whatever form is their "thing." Most libraries these days have huge audio-book selections, every magazine and newspaper under the sun and many are implementing e-readers into their collections. Encourage kids to read whatever they *think* they might like. Mine are so tiny, they really tend to love most of what they choose, but as they grow, I'm sure that scope will narrow.

I love LOVE to read, and I love the library as a resource for my kids to pick up on that love. And they are. For some reason, passing on a love for books is just very satisfying to me. I hope that that love doesn't wane as they grow older. Convincing boys to love to read can be a challenge when they are older, so I've heard...

The BEST part is though, our true favorites; the ones they make me read three times a day for the duration of the book's stay at our house, well, we get to go to the book store and BUY those ones. It's a win-win.

*Photo from childcareoptions.ca*

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How to Stay Awake

...without the caffeine.

I dunno ya'll. When my eyes are closing despite my best efforts, the only honest answer seems to be... to go to bed.

I've got two in bed and one to go. Tomorrow I'll return with a real how-to that will make you happy. It makes ME happy. So, I'm hopeful for your sakes as well.

In the meantime... I must go convince a sweet/crazy three year old that a warm cozy bed is much more fun than being awake.

Dishes? I think thou shalt wait until the morrow.

And that's how it's done.

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How to help kids CREATE

An epically long post. Good luck. :) 

From August 2010

So, I don't really know about your kids, but my kids like to "make stuff" or as Henry says, "make 'ventions" (Translated to mean "make inventions.") They love LOVE to cut stuff up and stick it to other stuff. They love the paint, they love to color, to sculpt, to cook... really they love it all.

I was fighting them constantly when they'd raid the ribbon stash or cut up papers that absolutely should NOT have been cut up. It was driving me crazy. Not to mention the HUGE SHARP scissors they'd find to accomplish the job.

CRAZY, I say.

And it was all my fault. I was totally stifling them. My demand that they not play with scissors, or NOT cut up string was just not going to work. They would NOT stop. I kind of think they COULD not stop.

So, the old cliche, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em became my new mantra.

And thus the CREATE box was born.

This is not a fancy box full of expensive art supplies. It is not a special box pulled out only for special occasions. It is the "Everyday" art box.

It contains the following:
White scratch paper from the printer (great for one-sided art, cutting and gluing)
Construction paper (I do control the flow of construction paper into the box)
Scissors (safety of course!)
A hole punch
A skein of cheap yarn
Fabric scraps
Toilet paper rolls
Crayons
Markers
Watercolors
Glue sticks
White glue
Sculpting dough of some kind (sometimes, this one isn't a constant.)
Plastic water bottles (seriously, it's amazing what kids will come up!)
Paper cups
Tape

You could add:
Pipe cleaners
Popsicle sticks (we're all out!)
Fuzzy pompoms
Foam sheets
Felt
Sequins

It's not terribly organized because my kids trash it regularly, and they definitely have their favorite items, but each and every one is something I don't mind them using. Watercolors even are extremely low on the messy scale. Markers and crayons I do monitor to ensure lids get replaced and that crayons aren't left for baby brothers to do wall art with, but other than that, they are free.

Children, in my own opinion, need lots and LOTS of free time, to play, explore and learn. Besides, I don't have the time or energy or ability to provide them with 100% structured "creative" time. We do some, for school, but otherwise, they can run and play inside and out and cut and glue for the vast majority of the day.

From August 2010

Of course, my children are VERY young, and if yours are older, then their needs will differ. However, I also live with my 16 year old brother, and he takes great pleasure (although he wouldn't admit it) to a little creative play himself. Heck, so do I! And I bet, so do you!

So, knowing your children intimately and knowing their needs, and perhaps with their input, make a CREATE box that is all theirs. If your kid is totally into glue but has no interest in paints, then go from there. If you're not sure what your kids like or would use, get a lot of cheap materials, and let them learn what they like.

A lot of times when this kind of creative freedom is new, kids won't quite know what to do with it. They'll ask you to help a lot. While help is fine, the more you can encourage them to do it themselves, with their own abilities, the better. If you always do it for them, how will they learn what they can do, and what they LIKE to do?

A couple of "extra points"  I feel should apply:

1. No "coloring books" of any kind should ever EVER be a part of the CREATE box. Ever. I'm not joking.

2. Try not to control what your kids do. Don't tell them "go make me a flower." Let them go with their own flow. If they are not used to that freedom (school can squelch that a bit) then gentle suggestions and prodding is fine. Don't MAKE them make stuff. Just allow them the freedom to explore it all. Don't force it. They'll do it all on their own if given the freedom to try.

3. Don't let them multi-task when they are creating. By that I mean, no TV or WII. Turn it all off. Music in the background is great, but any kind of visual stimuli should be turned off.

4. Don't be surprised if CREATE time ends up being small increments throughout a day or a few days. My littles don't really sit for hours on end and do projects. They create for a bit, run off, come back, do some more, just like how they play anyway. If your kids are older and in school, have the CREATE box around so they can dip into it when social studies makes them want to cry. Or for a bit before bed, or whenever. Just having it around, and free to be used it important.

5. You don't have to save and immortalize EVERYTHING they create. Take pictures and save them digitally if they are really incredible creations. Otherwise, don't hesitate to say "goodbye" to stuff when they've finished playing with it, or it gets ruined. Otherwise projects will take over your life. I just recently threw away a "blow gun" Henry created with an apple, a straw and a water bottle. The apple had gone mushy. Ew.

And if your kids span a large age range, create "age appropriate" boxes. Bigs, littles, teens, etc. Keep the box(es) accessible and check it periodically for supplies.

Don't be shy! If you need a CREATE box all your own, I am a big fan of that idea as well. You're never too old or too busy, I say. If you're an empty-nester or a single person without a family, why can't you CREATE a bit as well? Who cares if you're "good" at it or if it looks nice, just try. You might surprise yourself.

AND GO!

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How to Save Money--Cash Edition

We all know that really truly leaving within our means is the ONLY way to avoid the pitfalls of debt, credit cards, collections, and all the fun that comes with NOT being able to pay bills.

Right?

So, why the freak is it so hard sometimes?

We've been married seven years, and in that time our income has varied SO much that our budget changes like every 12 weeks, I swear. Plus add in child after child and it continues to change constantly.

But, one thing has remained a constant in our financial situation:

Cash makes me uncomfortable.

And that is a good thing.

When I have a wad of bills in my wallet, I am SO very aware of where every penny is going. Do I really need a 44 oz Diet Coke for $1.24 if I have a can at home? (By the way, a lot of days the answer to that question is YES!).

When I am using cash to pay for everything (minus bills because those are all autopay) I have no choice but to confront my spending habits. I have no choice but to look long and hard at mindless spending.

Sliding a debit card is like PLAYING PRETEND. The money is coming from somewhere in a FAR AWAY land.  Sliding a credit card is LIVING IN LALA LAND, a far away fantasy land.

When cash is king, I find I spend less because it is REAL and TANGIBLE.

Try it. Dave Ramsey even has a fancy envelope system for those trying to get out of debt. It can be DONE!

It's super easy to say, "Don't spend more than you have." It's MUCH harder to actually not SPEND MORE THAN YOU HAVE.

If you don't have the cash, you're not allowed to buy it.

(Homes, cars and education are your own business. I'm talking about everyday-type purchases here.)

So, go to the bank, get your weekly food, gas, and extras budgets in cash and see how far you can stretch it.

You might be shocked at how good you are at it. Or you might find an empty wallet and wonder who robbed you. Either way, it's always a cool experiment.

Anyone have any stories of cash success?


***Photo from sacbee.com***

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TGIF Tidbit

While I can not, under any circumstances compete with Erin for "Post of the Week" here, (I mean, really, truly, I can not), I do have a link to share; a "how-to" that I am NOT GOOD AT, but am continuously working on as a mother.

Check it out.

What do you think? Is it worth even worrying about? Or am I on the right track?

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Preparing for an Emergency

There are a myriad of ways the important documents and possessions in our homes could be lost, stolen or damaged and it is really important to prepare for these events so that if (heaven forbid) the "worst" should happen, you are in the best position possible to pick up the pieces and move on. Unfortunately, a lot of people just don't even know where to start in order to get their houses/lives in order in case of emergency. Most of us recognize the wisdom of having a little food and water set aside, but how many of us have given a thought to what we would do if our homes were broken into? Or destroyed by fire? Well, here's my super simple "Getting Started" guide to preparing our homes for emergencies.

Step 1: Get homeowners/renters insurance! This is really, really important, even if you are a renter. When I moved away to college and started living with roommates, my parents insurance company offered a ridiculously low renter's insurance rate which I accepted and have kept (and upgraded) ever since. It's really only a small expense and can make a huge difference if there's ever an emergency. Example: shortly after I got married, my husband and I invested a small fortune (for us, at least...we were poor college students) in nice mountain bikes. About 3 months later my bike was stolen (I cried) from the bike racks of our apartment complex. Now, we had no way to replace my bike out of our own money, but I called my insurance company and the "personal property" part of my policy protected all my belongings (even my car to a certain degree) while on the rented property. So, I got a check for the value of my bike and soon was back on the trails.
Moral of the story: BE INSURED

Step 2: Protect your important documents. Most of us know exactly where we keep papers such as birth certificates, social security cards and insurance policies, but what would you do if  your home flooded or was destroyed by fire? Are your important documents protected? I (being a little paranoid) have 2 ways of preserving these vital papers. The first is to scan these documents and save them to a flashdrive/external memory device of your choice. More about where to keep those files in a minute. The second way is a fire proof box. You don't have a fireproof box, you say? WELL. They are super easy to find (your local office supply store will have basic models) and relatively inexpenive so GO GET ONE. Put the original copies of all your essential papers in this box and, if it's big enough, any small, irreplaceable possessions that are suseptable to fire/water damage. You'll feel lots better knowing that your vital documents are protected. :-)
As a side note: you may want to add "proof of purchase" information for large ticket items to this file of documents. Having the receipt for my bike, so I could prove the value meant that I received what I paid for it from the insurance company, rather than their standard "bike" reimbursment. Probably not as important as your birth certificate, but something to think about.

Step 3: Inventory your home. I know. I know. This sounds like a HUGE hassle. But, trust me. It's not that difficult and is worth your time. You want to be able to prove loss in case of a robbery or fire and, if you are anything like me, it might take you a while to notice certain things (like rarely worn jewelry) are missing. SO. Inventory your home. I think the easiest way to do this is through photographs. Get a dedicated memory card for your digital camera and go room to room, taking pictures of the whole room.  You could stand in the center and slowly rotate, but if there are small valuables (like an antique on a shelf) you'll want to be sure those are clearly identifiable, so just make sure everything is documented in the pictures. If you have valuable single items, take pictures of each item individually (like all the pieces of grandma's silver tea service). Then, for large items (like your television, computer etc...) take pictures of the identifying information (the serial number on the back, model number etc...). These numbers are really important for insurance claims and can help identify your property if it is ever recovered after a robbery, so make sure you have those too! Make sure these pictures are clear and easy to read. It doesn't make sense to take the time to take the pictures if later the serial number is so small you can't read it. Unless you are a millionaire and live in a giant mansion, I'll bet you could do this for your whole house and all your valuables in about an hour. Go! Take pictures! Save the pictures!

Now, what to do with your scanned, saved copies of important documents and your photo inventory? Well, you could do several things.
1. You could put them in your fireproof box. (Remember? You're going to go get one TODAY). This is fine, but there is the problem of "all your eggs in one basket".
2. You could put the flashdrives/memory card in a safe deposit box. This would work just fine, if you are willing to pay the monthly rental fee. Remember, though, if there's some sort of natural disaster (think Hurricane Katrina), it may be a while before you could get to said safe deposit box, so consider that when evaluating your options.
3. Put one copy of the files in your fire proof box and send another copy to a family member.  I recommend this option. You have everything in one place (your fireproof box) that is easily accessible and a "back up" system just in case you can't get into your home for some reason.

See! It's not too hard to get prepared and it doesn't require a great deal of time or money! Go for it!

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How To: A Perpetual Calendar (Now with Pictures!)

Well, better late than never, that's what I always say...

Anyway! We are talking about a really nifty tool today: A Perpetual Calendar. I don't know about you, but I am incapable of remembering people's birthdays (including my own), anniversaries etc..These dates never change and yet; I just can't seem to stay on top of them. I want to be good about remembering these things, but alas, I am just not naturally on that "wavelength". But, I have discovered a way to help me keep track of all of those recurring, important dates! My perpetual calendar even helps me remember when my water bill is due: it is a beautiful thing.

I first encountered a perpetual calendar at my Grandmother's house. We have a gigantic family and yet my grandmother always, always, always remembered birthdays and other special days with cards and phone calls. I wondered for a long time how she did this, until I noticed a large, poster sized wall hanging on the inside door of one of her kitchen cabinets; this was her perpetual calendar. It showed every month and had lines to write in recurring events. Grandma had written in every single important date; this way she could simply glance at the calendar and always know what events were coming up. And this was reusable year after year! I thought it was just brilliant. After unsuccessfully looking all over for a similar calendar and finding nothing (unless I was willing to pay an obscene amount of money) I made my own!

It was super easy and now I'm sharing with you. There are actually a couple ways to do this. The one I found that I liked best (but didn't want to pay for) was a small binder style and so that's what I made; you can make whatever style works best for you.

Here's what I did.

Binder Style Perpetual Calendar in 3 Easy Steps:

You'll need: a computer and printer, a small 1/2 in. binder, 12 tabbed binder folders

1. Create a 2 column x 31 row table on your computer. Number the 1st column with the days of the month (you can print out a bunch that are 30 days and then add 31 and print out a bunch of these) and leave the second column blank. I made my first column really skinny and the second column much wider, to give myself room to write. You can type in a heading for the specific month if you'd like.

2. I bought 12 folders with tabs made specifically for binders. These can be kind of expensive, so I waited until I found them on sale at an office supply store. I glued each month onto a separate tab; now I had 12 folders with calendars. The folders are where I put cards, envelopes for bills etc...

3. Fill in the calendars with the events you want to remember (I also add birth years and anniverary years so I can remember ages/number of years married etc...I admit, I have a terrible memory for such things) and keep the calendar someplace you can and will check it frequently.

That's it! So easy! And now, I am doing a much better job of keeping up with birthdays, anniversaries and when my account is going to be debited for the cell phone! All in all, keeping track of dates on paper is a much better system than trying to remember.

Go forth! Make a calendar! Make everyone jealous with your amazing ability to remember even the most obscure holidays and anniversaries! Give your husband a place he can look, just in case he can't remember if your anniversary is the 14th or the 15th! You'll be everyone's favorite.

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Getting Organized: Staying the Course

Hey! Don't Forget about the Giveaway! Click here to go to the post and enter your entries!

Hello All-
So, long time, no post! Sorry about that...turns out pregnancy has made my brain jello and my memory non-existent. This post has been patiently waiting for it's public debut for about 3 weeks now. Yikes!
But, all that aside, let's finish up our series on Getting Organized and talk about how to keep up your motivation. I know one of my biggest roadblocks to keeping my home and my life organized is staying motivated to keep at it. I have however, found 1 very easy way to keep myself on track and I think it will work for you to. Are you ready? Here it is:

Bribery.

I'm not talking about bribing people to do things for you (although that's not a bad idea, either, now that I think of it...). I mean "bribing" yourself to stay on track. Giving yourself rewards for both short and long term success is a great motivator!

"How do I bribe myself?" you ask. Well, it's actually pretty easy. You're going to need to start by listing several things you want (and can afford, both in time and money) right now and several things you want (again, keep in mind time and money) in the more distant future. Now, set up a reward system for yourself. You can give yourself  time to do things you want to do (this will probably require coordination with a significant other, if you've got little ones to consider) or even stuff you want, but make sure these are activities you really, really like to do and things you really, really want or need. Otherwise this doesn't really work.

Step 2 is simple. Determine how much time you are willing to "work" before you reward yourself. At first you may need to reward yourself everyday for keeping to a schedule or for tackling one organization issue in your home. That's great! Just figure out a schedule of short and long term rewards for yourself and then bribe away. Here's what I usually do.

I try to get my "chores" out of the way in the morning. I usually have the most energy in the mornings, so I try to take advantage of that time to clean, work on projects etc...That way, I can "reward" myself in the afternoon with activities I like to do. Usually this means taking time to sew or read, without feeling guilty that I've left the laundry unfolded on the bed (or floor...) and dishes in the sink.

For longer term rewards, I generally reward myself with "stuff". I like to buy fabric and sewing patterns, so if I stick to my organizational goals for a while (say, a month...)I'll "give" myself a gift of a trip to the fabric or quilting store.

Here's a hint: physically make a list and keep it in a prominent place so you can be reminded of the goals! It really does help!

Now, I'm sure there are other ways to stay motivated, so share you ideas in the comments!

P.S: Don't forget to enter the giveaway! Those are some seriously awesome dishes! Make sure you post your entries in the comments for the giveaway post, rather than for this post.

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How to Have Lunch

*Photo by Charles C. Ebbets circa 1932

Remember when you used to work for money? Remember how you'd LIVE for your lunch break? Regardless of whether it was brown-bagged or a fancy corporate lunch, it was a break a BREAK from work.

Remember that?

Now that you've got kids, what does your lunch look like? The leftover crusts from your three year old's PB&J? A handful of lucky charms and a Diet Coke while you are wrestling your toddler for a nap?

SAD! Stay-at-home parenting is a hard HARD job. There are no government mandated breaks or lunch hours. You go from morning 'til night just trying to catch a breath most days. And lunch? Forget it, it's lost in the shuffle.

Well, I have discovered, out of pure desperation, some tips to making lunch an actual BREAK from the demands of motherhood. Now, I can't guarantee that your preschooler will leave you in peace, but at the least, you'll get a snippet of quiet time.

So, first, let's discuss MENU.

Kids like Pb&J, they like mac n' cheese out of the box, they enjoy microwaved hot dogs. Now, if these lunch items make you swoon, then by all means, please keep eating them. But, if they do not twitch your twaddle, then I strongly suggest you make other plans.

If you have a little extra in your food budget, spring for some nice artesian bread, deli meats and cheeses, if sandwiches are your thing. If you like a nice hot meal, there are actually frozen meals that taste pretty dang good. Check the freezer section, and try out some different kinds. A lot of them are pretty cheap too. (Cheaper than driving through somewhere.) Get some rolls or make some toast for on the side. If leftovers are your thing, great!  Make a nice side salad to spruce it up. Just make sure you're enjoying the food you eat.

I want you to be EXCITED that it is lunch time. I want you to look forward to that meal. And the key here is, you can't spend forever prepping it. It has to take five minutes or less. Otherwise you're wasting valuable BREAK time, cooking.You're going to have to cook dinner in a few hours anyway! Do not waste time cooking your lunch. QUICK and DELICIOUS. Whatever that means to you.

Now let's talk TIMING.


Do not eat lunch at the same time your kids do. 


Everyone's schedules will be different. Heck, daily schedules vary in the same family. You need to find an hour (YES, and HOUR) of your day when you can carve out time to have to yourself (as much as is humanly possible). I find that if I can feed the kids lunch, and then without passing go, without collecting 200 dollars, put them directly in jail, erm... bed for naps, then I have an hour of time to eat.

Unfortunately, only one of three actually nap.

So...

well...

I let the other two watch TV.

I know, right? Crazy. Revolutionary idea. But dang it all, it works.

Now, here's the deal: If you have kids who aren't in school and who don't nap, you do not get a break. Ever. Someone is ALWAYS bugging you.

ALWAYS.

So, in order to accomplish a break time, I have eliminated absolutely all TV except for that hour immediately after their lunch.

And that is my lunch time. By that point, I'm starving, and ready for a break. The baby goes down, PBS Kids comes on (or Veggie Tales or whatever is age appropriate) and my lunch is made. Yes, the kids bugs me a bit, but I'm nearby and they know it. They tend to just veg.

If your kids won't sit and watch TV, supply them with books, or paper and crayons or kick them out to the backyard with buckets and shovels. What distracts your kids the best? What keeps them happy for the longest? Use it. If that means that you plan your day differently so that TV no longer comes on first thing in the morning, or that you move the baby's nap time or you eat after you pick up your kindergartener... whatever! Just figure it out. It will take some shifting and planning.

And it will be worth it.

Finally, Lunch Time Activities For Mom
Is the Grey's Anatomy on DVR calling your name? Is that novel just sitting there begging to be read? Are your emails clogging up your inbox? Take time to do things you normally don't have time to do; things that you don't want kids around for. Do not sit on hold with the insurance company while you eat. Do not pay your utility bills. NO NO NO! Relax, and take a break. The rest of the day is waiting for all that "real life" stuff. For me personally? Lunch is where I sit, eat SLOWLY, drink an ice cold beverage and read a book. It is fantastic.

Like I stated earlier, I want you to look forward with great anticipation to your lunch break. It is SO nice to sit and relax, even if you can only squeeze 14 minutes out before someone needs something. Get foods you like, get your kids squared away and recharge for the remainder of your eternally long days.

Seriously, you'll be SO glad you did.

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Staying Organized: Time Management Strategies

Howdy All! Remember me? Yeah. It's been a while...but we are back and are continuing our "Getting Organized" series with a quick overview of some handy time management techniques! I can tell you are excited!

So, getting organized goes beyond just knowing where you've put your keys and remembering to pick up your dry cleaning. It's about organizing your life so that you can do the things you want to do, when you need/want to do them. "How do I do that?" you ask? Well, I'll tell you! Okay, that's not really true. Only you can really figure out a system that works for you, but I can give you some handy tips that might help you get started...Let's go!

Tip 1: Get and use a family calendar. Let's face it. As a mom, you aren't just organizing and managing your life, you are managing your family's life. So, it's vital to have a central location where all important activities and tasks are located. Some people like to use a computer calendar, but I prefer a paper calendar that hangs in a prominent place so that everyone can update as they need to. Having a calendar that is easy to access (rather than on a password protected computer, for instance) also makes it much easier for someone to step in and help out if you need them too. After all, moms get sick too. Or need vacations.

Tip 2: Schdule your day. I choose to do this first thing in the morning, but lots of people find it easier to have a little family pow-wow in the evening before everyone goes to bed. Check out the family calendar and your own to-do list and give everything appropriate time. I give everything a few extra minutes because, well, I find that nothing goes as quickly as I'd like it to. But, if you can calculate exactly how much time it will take you to find the balsamic vinegar amongst the millions of bottles of salad dressing at the grocery store than you can skip that part.

Tip 2b: Schedule the most difficult/time consuming/least pleasant activities when you are your most energetic/fresh. For me, this is in the morning, but if you are not a morning person then figure out when you feel the most ready to take on the world and take advantage of that time!

Tip 4: Have "regular" days for recurring chores and put these in your schedule. Pick a day for grocery shopping, pick a day for ironing, vacuuming or whatever else you do each and every week. It'll make your life so much easier to get into a scheduled routine. And, if your family knows Monday is grocery day, they won't be as likely to be begging you to make a special trip on Thursday.


Tip 5: Give yourself a break! There is a reason breaks are an essential part of a work day. They keep you from losing your mind! Whether you work during the day and, therefore, have to handle all your 'home' tasks in the mornings and evenings or you are a full-time mom, you need to give yourself a break. Sometimes, I actually schedule myself some "down-time", if I know my day is going to be crazy and I know that without scheduled breaks I'd go and go until I collapsed. Other days, I just take advantage of breaks in the scheduled acitvities. However it works for you, make sure you take a break! It will make it so much easier to follow a schedule the rest of the day.
 
Tip 6: Throw out the schedule sometimes. Some days are just not going to go according to plan. That's okay! Just rip up the  daily schedule (not the calendar. The calendar is sacrosanct. :-) ) and go with the flow. If the park is calling you to a perfect picnic/play date then go for it! You have tomorrow to plow through that to-do list.
 
So those are my ideas, how do you manage your time? Share your ideas in the comments!

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How to say NO

Okay.

Are you desperately afraid of saying, "NO" to requests? Even if you know you should? Even if you really really want to?

Yet, when someone calls to ask you to watchtheirkids/cookameal/doacraftproject/pickuprandomthingatthestore, do you find yourself saying, "Sure! It's NO problem. No really. It's totally fine!" when you really really shouldn't?

Me too.

I have issues.

See, I kind of believe that if I say "NO!" when I need to, I'll be hurting someone's feelings. I'll be making myself look weak, or unfriendly or uncharitable. I believe that SHOULD be able to raise my own kids, run my own business, support my husband 100%, keep my house beautifully spotless, keep the dog well-groomed, keep MYSELF well-groomed, read everyone's blogs and leave fantastic, witty comments, keep up on the news, support my congressman/woman, do my church duties, exercise, eat right, make sure my children have proper, educational activities...

and be able to help anyone/everyone who asks.

It seriously depresses me to even think that the above list isn't even an exaggeration.

So, when people ask MORE of me, I try so so hard to say, with as much enthusiasm I can muster, "YES! Of course!"

Some things aren't hard to do at all, taking a friend's kids for a couple of hours really doesn't phase me. Some things just sort of fit right in and don't bug me.

But sometimes, I need to say "No, I'm sorry, I can't."

And because of that, I've been thinking of the best way to do this. (YES! There is a "wrong" way to say "NO!" to people.)

So without further ado:

The Wrong Way to Say "NO!"
1. Lie
2. Be rude, "Why would you even ask me that? You KNOW I'm so swamped!"
3. Delay the inevitable. "Call me in a day and I'll let you know" when you KNOW you are going to refuse.
4. Ignore the request, pretending it will go away.
5. Say "yes" and then change your mind (if you were always intending to say "No!")

The RIGHT Way to Say "NO!"
1. Be honest. "I wish I could, but I am honestly too swamped right now!"
2. Be polite, "Thanks so much for thinking of me, but I just can't right now."
3. Say "NO!" right away. If you don't want to/can't, tell the person immediately.
4. Respond. (It's not cool to make people wait, while you pretend you never got the email. Let them know!)
5. Be upfront. Don't blame your neighbor, your sister, your husband. Just kindly decline.

Final notes:
 Saying "NO!" to requests does not make you a bad person. That being said, there is a time and a place to say, "YES!" as well. We're all busy. It's not about that. If you can stretch yourself occasionally to help someone else out, that is a good thing. It's NOT good to do so to the determent of your health, family life, or job.

People need help all the time. Only you can decide if/when to provide that help. Paying it forward is always a good idea. If someone helps you out, it's always nice to be willing to help them out. BUT, that doesn't mean you keep score.

Pick and choose your extra-curricular activities. Be aware of your tendency to over-schedule yourself before you commit to anything new.

Carefully evaluate where you are in life, and then use the above steps to let people down easy when the answer is NO!

I really do need to point out that this is a particular "How-to" at whichI tend to fail spectacularly. My dear husband has helped me see when I am over-yes-ing myself. It has indeed seriously impacted our family, when I have said "YES!" when I should have said, "NO!"

I am learning. It is a process.

Just say, "NO!"

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How to Relocate (in 16 steps)

Okay, so right now, I am in the THRONGS of relocation. Anyone who knows me, knows it is NOT my favorite thing. See, in fact, it is SO LOW on my list of favorite things it ranks in behind, "Poop my hand" and "Vomit on my shoes."

See? It's NOT cool, not fun and I don't recommend it. What it is, is a soul-sucking adventure that leave you wondering whether or not going to prison is a risk you're willing to take. Because if it is, then dumping gasoline on all your belongings and dropping a match near-by starts sounding really tempting.

BUT, since I don't recommend that either, here is your "How to Relocate" Diet Coke Diet style.

1. Have more stuff than actually fits in your house. This is accomplished by having a spouse with an office off-site. The office is full to the brim with "work" stuff. Also, have a garage that is home to anything that doesn't fit in your house.

2. Decide to downsize to two bedrooms (approximate 300 square feet) from 1800.

3. Try and sell everything you own on Craig's List, only to be contacted countless times by scammers who wish to give you "free laptops" if you'll just "click on this link."

4. Have your children cry every time you put something in a box, afraid they will never see it again.

5. Send half your household to Goodwill and have your children cry every time you get near the store, because they know you're giving away their toys.

6. Try really hard to be organized for the first three weeks you're packing boxes.

7. Give up organization for the easier, quicker "Throw crap in boxes and tape it shut" method. It is FAST and EASY. We know that is the entire basis of The Diet Coke Diet.

8. Tell your children to STOP climbing on boxes like a mountain. Make sure they ignore you entirely until a stack of boxes crashes down upon one of them, eliciting much screaming in terror from said child.

9. Threaten to leave ALL people under 5ft tall behind when relocating.

10. Pack your kitchen 5 days before departure, necessitating eating things like tortilla chips straight out of the bag and calling it "Lunch."

11. Drink your weight in carbonated beverages in an attempt to stay sane, stay happy and stay awake.

12. Wonder if it's strictly necessary to tape boxes shut. Perhaps if you stack them really tight on the truck, tape will not be required.

13. Cry when the noise from the tape dispenser wakes up the baby who refuses to nap.

14. Spend more time driving all around seeing all the people you love before you leave than you spend packing. Decide that maybe throwing yourself a "Goodbye" party might not have been a terrible idea.

15. Spend a freaking ton of money on stuff that you have to have to move. I don't even know what stuff it is, but we have spent the money on it.

16. Rethink the arson plan approximately 4 times a day.

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Getting Organized: Spring Cleaning Edition

One of my most favorite things to do, in the whole wide world, is to create order out of chaos. Seriously. Organizing stuff makes me happy; so much so that at one point in my life I considered becoming a professional organizer and opening my own business. That didn't happen, but because I care about you and your sanity, I will now share some of my favorite techniques for becoming organized.
You're welcome.

A Disclaimer: This is not a "getting organized the easy way" type post. The fact is, organizing your life is going to take time and effort and staying organized is probably going to require even more effort (but not a lot of time, thankfully). Anyone who claims anything else is being dishonest. Because organizing your home, life and time is a lot of work, we are going to break it down in to several, manageable chunks. It won't be easy, but I promise you'll like the results.

Finding the Motivation
I have heard every reason in the world for leaving things messy and disorganized. I have probably used every excuse in the world, however I truly believe, that there is no good excuse not to be organized. "I just don't have time" is a popular excuse and in this post we'll talk about how to overcome that (incidentally, remaining organized is a great way to catch lost time in your day, but I digress". Another popular excuse is "I'm just not an organized person." Pish posh. All that means, you aren't organized yet not that it is impossible to ever become organized and efficient. Case in point: I am not "naturally" organized; I am naturally a little bit flighty, truth be told. But, I know this about myself and so I work really hard to over come that part of my personality. As I recently told a co-worker, "I am far to flakey to be disorganized." I imagine the same is true for many of us; without careful organization, we'd lose things, forget appointments and generally live very stressful lives. An organized home and life means you can spend time focusing on the most important things. A well organized home and life will save you money and stress. Make this your mantra: "Time and effort now will save me time, energy, money and stress later. " Repeat as necessary until you feel motivated to do the hard work. In the meantime, do the hard work anyway. :-)

Now that you are ready to get started, you may be wondering what to do first. The biggest mistake anyone can make is trying to do everything all at once. You will run out of time, energy and motivation long before you are finished and then you'll be left with the same or a bigger mess than before. So. Step number 1 is:

START SMALL
Choose 1 closet, 1 drawer, or even 1 bookshelf and start there. If you are really, really committed and have a whole day (or more) to devote, you could start with 1 room. But announcing to your family "This Saturday we are organizing this house!" is a recipe for disaster. Start small!

SORT
Trust me on this one. Do not begin by going to the Container Store and buying a bunch of baskets. I know, I know. That's the fun part, but if you do that before you know exactly what you need, you'll end up wasting time and money. So resist the urge to shop. Start by sorting. I choose to sort by type. For example, if I was trying to organize my books I'd start by sorting by type/genre. I'm a nerd, so I'd also sort by subcategory (non-fiction biographies etc...) but you don't have to be that picky. Same goes for toys, movies, clothes etc... Establish categories and everything into piles. 2 of your categories MUST be "Donate" and "Toss". Sort, sort, sort, sort. Be brutal. If you haven't used it in several months you can probably donate/toss it. If you have an emotional attachment but don't use it anymore, take a picture. Use this time to get rid of excess stuff! It will be time well spent.


EVALUATE
What's left? How will it be used? How often will it be used? Who uses it? Where will it be used? How best to store each item? These questions are important because they will help you to decide where and how to store your items. Things that you or family members will use frequently should be easily accessible, things that are used only rarely can be put away out of sight (that one should be a no-brainer, right?). Who will use something also determines where it goes; your kids toys should probably not be in your bedroom or in the formal dining room because that isn't where they'll be used. So. Ask and answer these questions about each and every item. As you evaluate, consider the types of containers you may need; sizes, shapes etc... MAKE A LIST so that you can purchase the correct items (or find them in your house).

EVERYTHING HAS A HOME
Now that you have sorted your things and evaluated how and where to store everything, give each item a home. Everything must have a home. Nothing goes "where ever" Everything has a home. This is a second mantra to add to the first. Ensuring that everything has a home will make it much easier to stay organized. Everything has a home. Put things away. Labels will help if you have other people in your house who are not as committed to the new, organized environment as you. Say it with me now: Everything has a home.

Congratulations! You are well on your way to getting and staying organized. Keep at it. Tackle another space soon; keep the momentum up! You can do this! You are an organized person! Hooray!

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How to be an Amazing Mom!

I, unfortunately, am not always a shining example of motherhood. I really really try most days, but sometimes, I just do a really bad job. There is no denying it. And in reality, it's sad because I know how to do it, I just choose not to.

When I was in college, I picked up the Anne of Green Gables books and read them all. I had never read them before, and wasn't interested in the slightest. I liked the movies fine, but the books just didn't appeal to me. Then I started reading out of boredom and was hooked. When I reached the end of the books, I was bummed they were done. The one that really spoke to me about motherhood specifically was Anne of Ingleside.

(Let's be REALLY clear here. I KNOW it's fictional, I KNOW it's a novel, but that doesn't negate the fact that Lucy Maud Montgomery had some important information in her books. Anne is fictional and somewhat romanticized but that doesn't make me not want to be like her.)

From The Diet Coke Diet

So without further ado How to be an Amazing Mom ala Anne Shirley Blythe: 

1. Don't yell at your kids

Anne tends to be very patient to her children. She only yells once in the whole book and feels badly about it. (This is first because I think her level of patience is ONLY possible in a fictional character. But it gives me hope that I can be better...)

2. You don't have to bake cookies to be a good mom. 

Anne has a maid, actually, and the maid does the cooking. 

3. Cherish the little moments.

When her children are small, Anne is very good about enjoying the little things with them. She doesn't waste time being bored or grumpy. 

4. Listen to your children

Her kids have a lot to say, and Anne tries her best to hear what they are saying. 

5. Teach you children to be polite. 

She is always referring to her children as being ladies and gentlemen. Manners are a lost art in our society. 

Mostly, when I reread the Anne Books, I want to be a better kinder mother. I am not perfect. I will never be storybook perfect, and I know that. But at least this gives me a goal to aim for right?

If you have never read the Anne Books, well, then you should. Admittedly, I skip some parts here and there when the 100 year old descriptions get a bit flowery, but the stories, by and by are sweet and timeless. I don't get tired of them. :) 

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You are an Eight Cow Woman

*from Google Images

We as women put ourselves down pretty much all the time. It’s quick, it’s easy and it’s constant.

“I’m fat.”

“I’m out of shape.”

 “I’m not smart.”

“I’m lazy.”

 I’m just as guilty of it as any other woman. But, if you look at the women you know in your life, you’d probably be able to find multiple GOOD things to say about them. Why can’t we find good things to say about ourselves?

Once upon a time (or in a really great movie), Johnny Lingo paid eight cows for Mohanna. The going rate for a wife, it seemed, was two or three cows. Mohanna’s father was hoping that SOMEONE would take his “ugly, worthless” daughter off his hands. He was willing to take ONE cow, if someone would just marry her! Well, Johnny came in, and offered eight; which was a fortune! It made quite the sensation.

We all know how it ends right? Mohanna, it turned out, wasn’t ugly or worthless at all. She became a great homemaker, and truth be told, quite the looker. Why the change? Easy.

She learned to become who she was supposed to.  Plus, her man loved her enough to tell her she was worth every single one of those cows. She simply believed him and blossomed into herself.

So, now, pay attention. I am here to tell you that YOU are an eight cow woman. I’m serious. A loving Heavenly Father created you. You are “wonderfully made” (Psalms 139:14). He put care and thought into each strand on your head and to each gift and talent that you possess.

Trust me on this! Our Father does not make junk.

So, make a list of your eight “cows.” (Hopefully your list will have more than eight amazing gifts and qualities.) Start with “I was divinely created and am a daughter of Heavenly Father.” Hopefully, the rest will just flow. But if you can’t find eight good things about yourself, start looking. Ask your spouse. Ask your mother, sister, or friend. I’m sure they all see you for all the eight cows you’re worth. And it’s really time you started too as well.

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Happy New Year From The Diet Coke Diet

In which I become your Life Coach

From December '09

Okay, so 2010 is upon us! Deep down, in the heart and soul of all of us, we want to be better people this year. Right? RIGHT!

But how?

Well, I’m HERE with the secret to being a better person. It’s simple. It is ageless. It is… THE NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION! (insert applause and wild screaming here.)

I know we all MAKE New Year’s Resolutions only to break them at 8:58am Jan 1st. Then we spend the whole of January cursing ourselves and the natural man in all of us. Then come February, we pretend like we never made them in the first place.

It’s just so hard to change. It’s danged near impossible.

Not this year!

This year, you’re going to be successful. Your goals for the New Year will come to fruition.

Here’s How:

Keep it small, folks. Just keep it small.

Banish thoughts of “I will run a marathon in March.”

Try, instead, “I will get off the couch and go up and down the stairs 8 times today.”

See? Small, attainable goals are the way to go. And most likely you go up and down the stairs 6-7 times each day already, simply because you have to get a diaper, or find socks. Throwing an extra set or two in there is TOTALLY doable.

Then, the next day, set a new goal. “Today I will take all the laundry off the treadmill.” (Please note: I said NOTHING about putting the laundry away.)

Slowly but surely, you’ll build up to “Run a mile today.” Then perhaps, “Run two miles.” I’m telling you, that marathon will practically run itself.

Seriously, I can pretty much guarantee that before 2011 hits, you’ll have attained your goal.

Running isn’t your thing? Finances got you down? Don’t say, “Pay off the credit card by September!” You’ll just get mad when you fail to make triple payments. Instead try, “Don’t upsize my value meal today.” Or perhaps, “Buy generic cereal this week.” At some point you’ll be saying, “Save $200 a pay check” and before you know it: no more credit card debt.

Sounds simple right?

A disclaimer though: It only works if you KEEP doing it. If you only buy generic cereal ONCE or promptly put all the laundry BACK on the treadmill, you’re going to be your same old, unchanged self come New Year’s Day 2011. Then you’ll blame me, and that’s not cool.

See now? Don’t you feel completely motivated? What are your New Year’s Resolutions? What are your small baby steps to getting there?

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